"Ha, ha. Just as I had planned," said Pokey. "Those slugs:Prototype B14, Nucleotic A, Type Worthless Protoplasm did exactly what we had intended. The world is a mess and they would never be able to defend against this strike. The world shall be ours."
"Don't get so cocky," Giygas mumbled in a staticy, electronic sounding voice. "Ever since my resurrection, I have noticed your growing power and it will end here. If this insubordination and defiance does not cease now, then you shall be terminated."
"I'm sorry your majesty. You now have command over me and I shall follow your every order."
"Good, now we are nearly prepared. Gwa, ha, ha, ha, ha!"
Aaaaaaa, someone shrilly screamed.
"We have to do something about this," Ness said boldly.
"Yeah. I've got a bad feeling about this," Jeff replied. "Everyone, be quiet. Everthing is going to be okay."
"Ouhh," sid Poo.
They all looked down and saw a sticky blob with the face of an old woman gently resting on top. She only had one arm and it was slimy. It left a thick gooey smudge on Poo's karate dobok.
"Help me," she managed to weakly get out. "Please."
"Get the heck off me you old meany." Poo pulled back his hand and smacked her face real hard as he yelled Aiiii YAH!
Almost instantly the old lady melted in a puddle and then quickly dried up as if she had never been there.
"Aaah, I didn't mean to do that," Poo said.
"No, I think that was good," Jeff said as he pulled out a pencil and a sheet of paper. He wrote down long complicated formulas and solved them. "Well, after supplying the gravitational pull, wind speed, given cloud altitude, planet alignment, barometric pressure, and the slight rotating force of the temperature in centigrade given off by the sun's parametrical radioactive corona divided by the theory of relativety and multiplying the qoutient by a quasar's distance and the speed of light combined. That would give me that the catostrophic diminesional
"SHUT UP," everyone screamed at him. "Now get to the point"
"Sorry," Jeff quietly said. "What I am trying to say is that that lady was not human. She came from another planet. I don't know where though, but I feel she could be involved in the strange occurances happening here and that we need to find out about this. However, we'll never be able to accomplish anything with this world's situation, you know, all the craziness going on. We have to find a way to stop it."
"I could try to pray," said Paula quietly.
"No, that would never work," Jeff said nonchalantly.
"GIVE ME A CHANCE!" Paula screamed as she glared at him.
"Alright, go ahead," Jeff said fearfully.
Paula got down on her knees and started to hum. She gently began to float and her legs crossed over each other. Two balls magically came down from the heavens and she got into a trance and began to meditate. She started speaking in some very, very old foreign language, chanting spells. All of a sudden..............nothing happened.
"I told you it wouldn't work," Jeff said.
"Fine, I guess you were right."
"But I think I know how to make it work. Poo will have to use PSI Starstorm Omega and Ness will have to use PSI "hot women" Omega all at the same time while Paula's praying. If this is succesfully accomplished, then on a Global Positioning Navigator the approximate
"SHUT UP," they all yelled again.
"Sorry," Jeff said. "But give it a try, will you?"
"Yeah," they said in unson.
Paula started her meditating ritual while Ness and Poo used Starstorm and "hot women" Omega.
Nothing happened
"Oh my gosh," yelled Jeff, "I was wrong!"
Poo cussed at him in Dalaamese.
Two sunbathers were out in the middle of the desert. All of a sudden, they heard a voice.
"Who's there," said the man.
"It's me," said the white sesame seed.
"Oh, my gosh. You can talk"
"Yeah, I get that a lot. Wanna a cigar?"
"No thanks."
"I was only kidding man. Where would I keep it anyway?"
"In the sand?"
"Oh, humans," the white sesame seed sighed.
"Well, whatdaya want?"
"You see, I'm sorta in a dilema."
"Yeah, how?"
"Well, my girlfriend, the black sesame seed was getting a tan with me one day. She left saying she had a gift certificate to the Fourside Department Store. I was a complete moron to believe that, but hey. When you take one look at her you'll see what I'm talking about."
"Er, um yeah," the man said unsurely.
"So, uh can you go to Fourside and tell her that her man is waiting for and and he's uhh, got a surprise for her, yeah."
I guess so. Me and sweetums over here were going there anyway. Gonna check out the new dinosaur musuem. Heard it's great."
"Yeah, shut up and go. Or, I mean, Please go to find my uh, sweetums. How would you like it if you lost her."
"Hey, he pays me. I'm a "censored" if you know what I mean," said the women.
"Hey, you're supposed to pretend like you like me," the man replied.
"Yeah, alright, let's go," said the woman.
"Hey, this is pretty nice," the man said.
"Yeah, you're right."
All of a sudden a thing that looked like a portal to another dimension opened up in the sky and red balloons floated out of it.
"Wow, honey. Look at that. It's amazing."
They floated closer to Earth and people saw they weren't balloons anymore. They were red, blubbery figures with two eyes and a mouth.
"Operation Destroy Earth!" one yelled.
"Hey, they're just Fobbys! I saw them in the news. They're supposedly harmless.
"We are a genetically engineered version of the Fobby with new special enhancements and are potentially dangerous. Everyone now. BRAINSHOCK!"
"Ha, ha, ha! Everyone laughed after nothing happened.
People continued to laugh after Parlysis, Hypnosis, and Thunder also failed.
"We must use our back-up plan yelled the leader."
They all reached inside their jelly-like bodies and people wondered what they would cook up this time. All of a sudden, when they pulled their hands out, they were holding............
"Wooden Spoons?!?"
The Fobbys ran towards the people and started beating them with the spoons. Horrified, people ran for cover and ducked for cover behind trash cans and in small crevices.
"Look!" someone yelled.
People looked up and saw four kids cascading down from above and yelling "Starstorm, Fire, Hot Women," and " Darn, I wish I had some phychic points!"
With one bright, blinding flash of light all of the Fobbys were wiped out of Fourside as if they had never been there.
"YES! WE DID IT! No thanks to you Jeff."
'Hey, I was the one who implied the heliocentric theory and calculated the transformal mechanism to overide the manual default settings to activate the twin engines and to pulsate the
"SHUT UP!"
"Sorry"
"That's it. I've had it," said Ness.
Ness whipped out a baseball hit and CRASSSHHH, smashed one of Jeff's glasses lenses."
"Yes!" Ness said. "Smasssh Hit"
"Look what you've done," said Jeff.
"Hey, don't worry. My dad's got lots of money."
Ness pulls out his ATM Card and they all awe in wonder.
"So, you're mean!" sai Jeff.
"Hey. Loser. Pipe Down!" yelled Poo sticking up for Ness.
Jeff started to cry.
"Let's ditch him," said Poo.
"Nooo. Guys. You can't just leave me here."
"Yeah guys. He's right. He's the only one who knows how to use Multi Bottle-Rockets to lay the smack down on some tough enemies," Paula kindly a